So… What Are We Doing With Our Lives?

I've been thinking lately…

At what point does working toward the life you want become the reason you're not actually living it?

Because somewhere between building Zens and Echoes, trying to figure out my next move, and convincing myself that I need to be doing something productive every waking hour…

I kind of forgot that I'm a person outside of all of that.

And I don't mean that in some dramatic, I've-lost-myself-and-now-I-must-find-my-way-back kind of way.

But, you know… when was the last time I did something just because I wanted to?

Not because it would make good content. Not because it would move my business forward. Not because I could somehow turn it into an opportunity.

Just because I wanted to.

And honestly, this year has been a lot.

I was laid off from a job I'd been at for over three years. A job where I'd been taking on managerial responsibilities and was promised a promotion. So, naturally, I'm trying to figure out what comes next while also trying to build something of my own.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, I realized I haven't really been giving myself much room to just… be.

Now, I'm a Taurus. Sorry to the astrology haters, but I know myself. I like my stability. I like knowing what I'm working toward. And I definitely like feeling like I have some kind of control over my life.

So, yeah. Being in this weird in-between season? Not exactly my favorite thing.
I don't really know what this next chapter looks like yet. And I think that's part of what's been getting to me.
When you're used to having a plan, it's uncomfortable when things don't go the way you expected. Especially when you've put in the work and you thought you knew what was coming next.
But I'm trying not to let the uncertainty consume everything else.

I still have a life to live while I figure things out. I still have people to love, places to go, things I want to experience, and a version of myself I want to grow into.
And I don't want to put all of that on hold until everything else makes sense.

So, I guess this is me making a little more room for life outside of the to-do list.